2008

How about tips for men who are too self-absorbed and lame to...

johnbrissenden: hilker: toomuchawesome: Is it weird that I expect to lose followers for describing...

“Money Can’t Buy Life.”
— Bob Marley’s FINAL words, to...

Second Time Around: We Can't Be Friends...

I still believe in mating for life. ...

“[The authors of The Ethical Slut] take issue with our culture’s prevailing sentiment that,...

“The Bush Administration is up to its old tricks again,...”
— Hillary Clinton, An Outrageous...

Alright Tumblr ladies, let me pose a question to you, c/o a friend of mine. Would you be upset if...

(via lozzy) Girl, you keep this up and I just may have to...

Facebook Updates FTL

Really?  REALLY? You’re ENGAGED? YOU JUST STARTED DATING LIKE LAST MONTH. *checks their...

22

jgh: I turn 22 about a month from now — August 20th. Leo baby! (People usually guess I’m 26 or 27....

Americans For Prosperity: Hundreds...

“More than 500 conservative online activists and high-profile bloggers from coast-to-coast...

seashellhell: Motivation. motjuste: iwannaholdyourhand: pt...

“We’re fucked.”
— Unnamed Republican Strategist...

handa: Pixdaus: Popular Today Pics - no description

“My heart is yours to fill or burst, to break or bury, or...”
— Dashboard Confessional Dude...

emilyposts: (via bern@t)

“If Obama is indeed elected—the first truly Internet-enabled...”
— Douglas Rushkoff...

“The hammer is my penis.”
— He can give me his hammer...

“It’ll take about twenty minutes to cook. We could...”

“Men don’t realize that if we’re sleeping with them on the...”
— Chelsea Handler (via...

<3

I wanted to type “immature,” but instead I typed “internet.”  Hmmmm.

Bush: 'Our Long National Nightmare Of Peace...

My computers at home have died. I has no iphone. And I have a big project to work on today for the...

As Long as there's Women...

peterwknox: There’s this joke/quote I read a few years ago that stuck with me: Women are the...

brianvan: These people are unfairly smeared (by, um, BLOGGERS, hello!) as being vacuous because...

soupsoup: jeralyndwile:handa:marjoree:via ricchan: Sea...

shiningstar: mufti: jeralyndwile: Do you think that if more people lived together before they got...

re: tumblr etiquette

nudawn: mascarah: If you write anything (be it nice or nasty) and you blog it, it is out there....

peterwknox: emmas: I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive...

Quarterly Reports to Congress

We have an intern in our office whose father is the Special Instructor General for Iraq...

Found by my friend Mandy in Toronto. “Listen: I am...

music festivals ftl

me: ugh i hate ACL
can't wait until it's here and gone
Andy: it's like parents
:
Agh! i feel the opposite way! i'm coming down to Austin for ACL in september. i LOVED sxsw and i can't wait. but i guess having your city overrun with hipsters and music snobs probably isn't the best way to spend a week at home.
:
You're coming to Austin!? TUMBLR MEETUP WHOOOOOO HOO!
Yeah, I don't like how much it costs to go, how corporate it is, and how many posers show up for it. And it's way too hot for me to fully enjoy myself. I went last year, and that was enough for me. Besides, I can see most of the bands I would want to see anyway play shows elsewhere in town that week for cheap cheap cheap. Win!

music festivals ftl

me: ugh i hate ACL
can't wait until it's here and gone
Andy: it's like parents

“I want to be the centre of your world, but I also want to be...”
— The J Word...

(via lozzy) Good morning, lover!

The Little Old Lady And The Cab Driver

byrdie: When I arrived at two in the morning, the building was dark except for a single light in a...

Sent to me by my friend Twitch

About my new name plate, making me...

Andy: it's got the seal of texas on it!
that's pretty awesome
i want to sneak into your office one day before you get there and attach googlie eyes to the Os in your name
assuming you never look at your own name plate, you wouldn't notice for weeks
me: i think i would see it the moment i walk in the door
PLAN FAIL
Andy: i would think that as soon as you walked into the door, since you expect your name plate to look the same, you won't notice it
you'll just put away your coat and umbrella and sit in your chair, read the new york times and eat your poppy seed bagel with cream cheese
in my head you work in DC
me: it is like D.C. bb
except more laid-back
Andy: and the mail boy comes in to awkwardly flirt with you but gets chased off by the smart-mouthed office whore who is your best friend
after the mail boy leaves, the office whore tells you about which senator she blew last night in his car and you roll your eyes and say you don't want to hear it
Andy: and that's when office hunk you've yearned for from afar pops his head in to see if you've seen the traffic study report for senator robertson? if he doesn't find them soon he's out of a job
Andy: you sputter something that kinda sounds like "no," but he sees you're busy and says he'll check with the mail boys downstairs and leaves
as he leaves you bang your head against the desk and say "hello pierce. i have an extra ticket to see hanson this friday? wanna go?"
Andy: your slut friend's eyes pierce as he leaves and says "i'll go!'
Andy: and you say "no! that extra ticket is for pierce! i'll ask him before the day is over"
and your slut friend, let's call her linda
linda says "well be sure to wipe the cream cheese off your forehead before you do"
i think i should write sitcoms
me: oh god

Quote of the Day

yurztruly: seagull: juliaallison: “When you love someone, you do not love them all the time in...

“I don’t think Osama bin Laden sent those planes to attack us...”
— David Cross (via unalone) (via...

Citizenship beyond lapel pins

squashed: I’m planning to vote for Barack Obama because he asks us to look past our differences and...

Now I’m missing my puppay dawg.

Someone was saying earlier that they wanted the puppy Emily...

Bush Press Conference Today

Reporter: Mr. President do you feel the economy can turn around?
Bush: *looking like he is trying to hold in a fart* I don't know. Heck. I am not an economist. I am an opportunist though. (yes he really said this)
Me, posing as a reporter: Mr. President you are a douchebag. It's plain to see that you don't give a shit anymore and maybe never did after 2004.
:
: (via rebloggingrebloggingjulia)
:
: JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

amyyy: lomo: We heart it / Visual bookmark for...

handa: lomo: frozen moment (via jmeeee)

handa: Love is in the air… (via Swamibu)

yo heather

nudawn: Re: This, the chick might just be rude. Although deaf people cant hear, one of the major...

mylifeinacube: Some days seem to inch on forever. Tortoise. ...

Quote of the Day

juliaallison: “When you love someone, you do not love them all the time in exactly the same way,...

Amazing bird formation.

ALL ABOARD THE FAIL BOAT

Me: That girl seems so rude. Every time she comes in here to deliver stuff she never smiles back or says hello when I do.
Dorothy: You know she's deaf right?
Me: ....

The best part is Chad in the background.  Or maybe my...

ATTN: Hipsters You’ve been scooped. By Target’s...

It was just another Wednesday evening in Austin.

I wish I had an iPhone that would make me dinner.

Damn right I did.

It's Confirmed

twentysomethingtales: Everyone is wondering exactly how Julia Allison’s new website, Nonsociety, is...

jackieheartsb: robosheep: The Iran-Clonetool Crisis

Getting over your ex ... or not.

brianvan: nudawn: …he was doing it to either hurt me or protect himself; either way how on earth...

Oh, Texas politics.

Me: what kind of legislation are you guys thinking about for session?
A Rep's Chief-of-Staff: We're thinking primarily about building prisons to house all free-thinking people, and maybe expanding the death penalty to apply to illegal immigrants and poor people.
A Rep's Chief-of-Staff: And maybe to puppies as well.
A Rep's Chief-of-Staff: Nobody likes puppies anyway.
A Rep's Chief-of-Staff: Especially gay puppies.
A Rep's Chief-of-Staff: Gay, illegal immigrant puppies.

“I’m not saying I have herpes, but you guys don’t even know...”
— Me, to some guys I just met in...

“I’m one of Christ’s biggest fans. And if I can turn the...”
— John Lennon (via...

acidreams: benjaminhilts: picapixels: Pixdaus: God Gave Us...

There are not enough words to convey my disgust at this...

“Sex is just one giant game of tetris.”
— Kyle Platt (via...

I’m enjoying building on the friendships I have, leaving me weary of meeting new people. ...

Sunday morning conversation (not about...

Me: Ugh, I hate that girl FOR NO REASON.
Tim: Well she probably sucks, a) because she's a girl and b) well, she's probably a shit head.

My God. Arrested Development is HILARIOUS. I haven’t laughed so hard since I watched that CSI...

“The fear about losing a loved one is the fear of change...”
— Unknown. (via...

azspot: The Joy of Tech

Listen

All This Posting About The iPhone Makes...

bagcoffee: I’m gonna go make some Ramen.

Listen

Listen

Why am I just now hearing about Fleet Foxes?  I’m holding everyone I know responsible.  This...

nevver: Chris Piascik Yeah.  Like I said, obvious.

picapixels: moment o’ silence (via moS.) By now you guys...

I am in such a silly mood today!

Rick: I'll club you
Bryan: I'll spade you
Rick: I'll diamond you? Just don't heart me.
(- long pause -)
Bryan: I heart you

“I get upset that people don’t see the world as I...”
— A blog of a...

“Goodbye from the world’s biggest polluter.”
— George W. Bush After saying...

I know I'm not old but...

alohanico: sarahchristine: In class today, my professor puts in some old documentary from PBS and...

suitep: - Look at that!  Love this photo.  Each petal has...

Interview with the guy behind the tv show,...

If I have to type “constituent” and “colleague” and...

rore: rachelanastasia: toomuchawesome:(via tumbledore)

I really love the word “quipped.”

About our school, written by my friend...

“I already knew this to be true, but I was really mulling it over yesterday. Texas A&M is...

handa: Pixdaus: Popular Today Pics - no description

Google searched for “internet party.” Win.

A local Republican Club in New Jersey has...

BFFs

Jonathan: something is seriously wrong with me
Jonathan: that girl I hung out with at the Saucer, she came over last night. we hung out forever and made out and I've totally got feelings for her.
Jonathan: what the fuck
me: OMG YOU'RE ME

theoriginaljoefisher: Recipe Fail

On Megan Fox

Paul: what is she, egyptian?
Chad: no, I don't think so. look at the way she walks. arms straight and at her sides instead of being bent 90 degrees at the elbow and shoulder.

“I should be able to park my Benz in the middle of fifth...”
— THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO SAY SHIT...

True story.

alohanico: I’m kind of in the middle of a major friend breakup, and I’m pretty indifferent about...

This morning when I changed out of the clothes I wear to bike to work and into my work attire, I...

Andy: they said approved electronic devices may now be used...

Texas Representative Joe Crabb is a funny man.  I adore the guy.  We once had a discussion where I...

About OUR PRESIDENT PARDONING HIMSELF...

Andy: it's old news apparently
me: yeah just heard it's old
whatever, i still think it's bullshit
why are more people not upset as all hell about it
Andy: because they have other things to worry about
like britney's sister having a baby
and lindsay lohan being a dyke

“You don’t have the right to walk down the street and...”
— Pinko Feminist Hellcat

ellebelle: I love this picture (thanks J!)  I love this boy...

Snapshot of now.

Her office smells like Wriggley’s gum from all of the whispered, heated words breathed over...

Meditation: Humans Compared to Turtles

mills: musicbrain: Experimenters thought they killed a yogi when they put him in an underground pit...

i call bullshit on you motherfuckers

nudawn: lord i’m the first one to preach about the sanctity of self.  you must love yourself first,...

“Senator Obama and his fellow Democrats are more focused on...”
— Republican National Convention...

siddman: dears: Food Fight! (via Tad 20D)

catherine: I was skimming to the next chapter of my Python...

Why is it that if I don’t answer my phone in my *people voice,* my mother assumes I’m...

jessicagoldharalson: via www.apa.org I would be a terrible...

“Barack has made it clear that this is your convention, not...”
— E-mail Announcement from David...

“Stop talking about love. Every asshole in the world says he...”
— The Last Kiss (via...

I must be getting old when I don’t recognize the names of bands at Warped Tour.

seashellhell: (via garfieldminusgarfield)

brianvan: Someone once told me that they were afraid to change. I welcome change. But I now also...

The Urge to End It - Understanding Suicide

“Slight insanity is not a fault but rather a sign of...”
— Joel

The damn raccoons ate my beautiful bb hen gurl Repecca when she was safely snug and locked in her...

ronenfeed: favorite things #236: watching a stranger get a text message that makes them smile Now I...

Squirrels are so damn egocentric.  Just because I’m near you doesn’t mean I give a shit...

Really?  REALLY?  This is real?!  WHAT. (click-through for...

Andy is riding his bike straight over...

me: but if you need to shower, my shower is all yours
Andy: meh
I'll just be stinky
me: if it's unbearable, I'm throwing you in the shower
Andy: i have trouble believing your skinny arms can throw your attitude around like you do much less my fat ass

“‘I guess my question is why, given all the vast numbers of...”
— Obama on Clark: This is more...