About my new name plate, making me official and stuff.

• Andy: it's got the seal of texas on it!
• that's pretty awesome
• i want to sneak into your office one day before you get there and attach googlie eyes to the Os in your name
• assuming you never look at your own name plate, you wouldn't notice for weeks
• me: i think i would see it the moment i walk in the door
• PLAN FAIL
• Andy: i would think that as soon as you walked into the door, since you expect your name plate to look the same, you won't notice it
• you'll just put away your coat and umbrella and sit in your chair, read the new york times and eat your poppy seed bagel with cream cheese
• in my head you work in DC
• me: it is like D.C. bb
• except more laid-back
• Andy: and the mail boy comes in to awkwardly flirt with you but gets chased off by the smart-mouthed office whore who is your best friend
• after the mail boy leaves, the office whore tells you about which senator she blew last night in his car and you roll your eyes and say you don't want to hear it
• Andy: and that's when office hunk you've yearned for from afar pops his head in to see if you've seen the traffic study report for senator robertson? if he doesn't find them soon he's out of a job
• Andy: you sputter something that kinda sounds like "no," but he sees you're busy and says he'll check with the mail boys downstairs and leaves
• as he leaves you bang your head against the desk and say "hello pierce. i have an extra ticket to see hanson this friday? wanna go?"
• Andy: your slut friend's eyes pierce as he leaves and says "i'll go!'
• Andy: and you say "no! that extra ticket is for pierce! i'll ask him before the day is over"
• and your slut friend, let's call her linda
• linda says "well be sure to wipe the cream cheese off your forehead before you do"
• i think i should write sitcoms
• me: oh god